Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts

Friday, September 28, 2012

Dear Beloveds

Dear beloveds,

Deep down, I do know that, God willing, I'll "do just fine" on all the tasks remaining between me and the PhD I'm working toward. Barring unforeseen calamity, I will get there. However, the path is not without stress and worry.

You do not help me when you respond to my stress by dismissing it. When I take the long view, I have confidence about my ability to complete the whole project, but when I am in the throes of a single task with a short deadline, as now with a prospectus defense in mid-October, that one task consumes me, worries me, and stresses me out. When I tell you how I am feeling, I need you to not dismiss it. Remind me to get enough sleep, remind me to take a walk, remind me to pray, remind me that you believe in me, but don't tell me I have nothing to worry about.

I know that you love me and you think I'm brilliant. You might even be right. However, in my community of scholars, I'm nothing special. No one gets here without being brilliant, and when one is surrounded by brilliance, remaining shiny requires effort. When I worry about ridiculous things (being late, running out of cat food, whether my shoes match my sweater), I keep it to myself. If I'm telling you about my stress, please believe that it's warranted. 

I love you, too,

Thursday, January 20, 2011

On Being a Medievalist, sort of

As I wandered in to the graduate student lounge this afternoon to read between classes, I noticed that a bunch of the medievalist guys were in the conference room which opens from it. I thought, "Are they working on the transcription homework for Monday? Should I go in and join them?" I dithered. I hate being the new girl. Deciding that recon was the best course of action, I stood in front of the open conference room door while I carefully squeezed out and placed my tea bag in the trash, thinking that if they saw me they couldn't not ask me in to work on the transcription homework.When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a lumpy velvet drawstring bag and a stack of cards! I laughed at myself as the dice clattered out onto the table and I sat back down to read and drink tea."I slay you!" is not in the transcription homework.

Not long after a trio came in to talk about their rhet/comp project.
Green Sweater Girl: "What is that sound?"
Other Girl: "It sounds like dice. Who's using dice?"
Preppy Guy: "When it's dice, I always assume it's the medievalists."

If the other medievalists are infamous for their dice, I don't feel so bad about being a serious academic who is also a card carrying member of the SCA.

How can they possibly have time for gaming? We have transcription homework for Monday!